There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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