Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
