ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
