Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish you could order shots online.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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