what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
