that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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