The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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