i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
