Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
