im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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