Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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