I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just had sex on a roof
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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