I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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