and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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