The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
