My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
