im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
