Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
