I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
