I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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