I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
