My nipple is on Facebook.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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