finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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