Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
