Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
