My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
