i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
