your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
