We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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