I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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