i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Enjoy the penises
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
