you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize