It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
