I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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