Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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