I don't remember. Are we still dating?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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