I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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