he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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