i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
