dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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