If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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