One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize