So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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