I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
