so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
