Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
