i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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