Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
