two words: eviction party
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
