I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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