he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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