Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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