It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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