Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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