I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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