butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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