I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
