She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
