Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
