you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
