When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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