True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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